Pissed.

please do not take the post title literally. ever.
why dav? why. why are you pissed. or who are you pissed at right now? well. the only person i'm pissed at is me. why. because i HAD to cancel today's plan with my lovely high school girls :(
i can't even fucking eat.
i also didn't attend saturday's class.
i was ready though, i took a bath and stuff already but NOOOO. i had to feel fucked up and throw myself back into bed and feel like shit. again.
and uni life pisses me of as well. who would've thought that being in uni would suck balls. i mean. THE SHIT I HAVE TO DO RTVBLESTRDFUIOJKPSDRTFYUGHIJOKFUGIH
oh but here's something that doesn't pisses me off. IT'S ALMOST OCTOBER WHICH MEANSSSS BADUM TSSSS.....MOI BIRTHDAY YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY.
hehehehe it's going to be my eighteenth :( not so excited though. because i'm not that sure whether this year would be as special as the years before. no shit.

hehehehehe i think i should probably get some more rest now.
bye!

asdfghjklove,
davia.

What I've been Up To.

Hi, i was hoping to post something cheery today but....no:( davia's ill. very ill. i had to skip college today because i kinda threw up three times yesterday. it. was. terrible!!
the doctor said i was probably exhausted. yep. i probably am.
so i got accepted at HIMDKV! (seksi acara) YIPEE! :D not everyone got accepted so i kinda deserve a pat on the back for this one he he he. they first asked me to create a creative cv...so i did. wasn't so satisfied about the result. but did my best anyway. so here's my creative cv....BADUMM TSSSS....

please don't mind my fugly face. trying to look natural.

aaaannndddd i was scheduled for an interview a couple of days after. 

got accepted a few days after that hihihihihi

i have been working on Bunga's seventeen birthday party banner! she promised to invite me as a VIP guest so i said yes! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA:P here's how the banner turned out to be like...

i am feeling a lot better today, i'm super happy that i'm able to tend class tomorrow :D because tomorrow's drawing class and i'm very excited about it yay! ohya i kinda made a video today. i guess i got a little too bored....

oh ya. i went to pim on tuesday and watched insidious chapt. 2 (for the second time) but this time, i watched it with my college friends. yayyy. 

i went there with Tasya <3, Tisha <3, Ory <3, Aldi, Fiqar, Andy, Immanuel, Davin, Bagus, Irfan...annnddd i think thats it. we took this super cheesy photo at a super cheesy photo booth in fun world lol :))

it was super fuuuunnnn! 

maybe that's it. i'm not really up to doing anything lately but i am going to meet my high school babies on sundaaayyy!! can't waaaiiiit :* i miss them so much. although i don't really miss cibubur ;( hehehehehehehehehe the traffic's cuhrazzzyy over there.

GTG! GOTTA REST!

peace love and gawl, okay? buhbye.

asdfghjklove,

Davia!

unpredictable.

what dav? what's so unpredictable? well. everything, i guess.
i mean, the fact that we started out as strangers, became friends, lovers and ended up as strangers again. isn't that the most unpredictable thing?

waktu itu di rumah rona, nom baru ulangtahun. ngga jauh ulang taunnya sama rona.

hadiah pertama buat nom, eddy.

nggak sih namanya sebenernya teddy. tapi t-nya ketutupan ketek mulu. jadi namanya eddy.

disana, pas mau pulang, pertama kalinya dipeluk nom :-)

ada yang tau salah gue? salah gue adalah i tend to remember the stuffs i should forget. and forget the stuffs i should remember. kayak...pelajaran. ngga, gue ngga bisa inget itu. sial.

kenapa davia malah post foto sama nom? foto udah lama, lagi. 

karena kangen masa itu. masa dimana gue nggak tau, atau lebih tepatnya nggak nebak, kalo akhirnya bakal kayak gini.

masa dimana gue cuma bisa mikir "jalanin dulu, maybe he's the right guy for me" masa dimana pemikiran itu gue anggap benar, bukan salah. masa dimana gue bakal check hape, dan senyum dapet kabar dari nom. 

masa dimana gue bakal ngumpul sama temen-temen cewek, dan ngebanggain nom di depan mereka.

masa dimana gue yakin, kalo nothing could ever go wrong.

masa dimana gue salah.

gue lagi belajar nggak egois. karena nom sudah punya orang yang disayang, tapi bukan gue.

gue lagi belajar nerima kalo gue yang dulu spesial udah nggak ada apa-apanya lagi di hadepan dia.

gue lagi belajar ikhlas, kalo ternyata dia emang bukan buat gue.

susah sih, banget. tapi namanya juga usaha :)) haha.

sekarang rasanya kayak kecekek lagi, tapi, gue nggak mau nangis. sesakit apapun. gue nggak mau nangis. selega apapun jadinya setelah nangis, gue tetep nggak mau.

i dreamed of him yesterday. it felt so real, that when i woke up, i almost broke down.

i was very, very disappointed about that dream being only a dream.

pas bangun rasanya marah. sama keadaan. kenapa mimpi. KENAPAAAA-_______- kenapa nggak beneran. rasanya kayak beneran banget. tapi kenapa malah mimpi doang. nggak adil. nggak adil, nggak adil. kesel. kesel. kesel.

enoughlah dav. i keep telling myself that it's time to leave those feelings behind. tapi ngga bisa. susah. adanya, ketemu pohon dikit, inget "ih dulu di sekolah banyak pohon trs pernah duduk bawah pohon deket parkiran motor sama nom"

hujan dikit "ih dulu pernah naik motor gerimis sama nom"

apa aja. yang nggak nyambung sekalipun. 

lama-lama jadi kayak makin nggak adil. tapi bisa apa? bisa gilaaaa-_______-

ohya, dua hari ini susah tidur. tidurnya diatas jam 2 trs :( dan alhasil dianter mama ke kampus soalnya badan panas dan kepala pusing. ngenes bgtkan D: kesel deh. lemah banget abisan.

sekarang malah diajak nonton jam 9...yaudahlah. daripada pusing, jadi bego. ya emang gapernah pinter sih tapi kan tapi...

ehya, gue janji. post seletah post ini, semuanya bakal post ceria.

janji.

nggak bakal nyebut nama nom lagi :-) nggak enak.

jangan sakit ya nom, kalo ada senior bandel tabrak aja pake ninja hijaumu itu :P:*

kalo sakit, pas mau bobo minum obat, dan kalau kebangun tengah malem, pastiin ada air putih sama obat. jadi diminumin lagi, insyaAllah bangun-bangun benerannya badan udah enakan. itu resep dari alm. kakeku :o 

yasudahlah, dadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh :D selamat ya nom, longlast. see ya when i see ya.

asdfghjklove,

davia.

high hopes.

Broken bottles in the hotel lobby
Seems to me like I'm just scared of never feeling it again
I know it's crazy to believe in silly things
But it's not that easy

I remember it now, it takes me back to when it all first started
But I've only got myself to blame for it, and I accept it now
It's time to let it go, go out and start again
But it's not that easy

But I've got high hopes, it takes me back to when we started
High hopes, when you let it go, go out and start again
High hopes, oh, when it all comes to an end
But the world keeps spinning around

And in my dreams, I meet the ghosts of all the people who have come and gone
Memories, they seem to show up so quick but they leave you far too soon
Now evil is just staring at the barrel of a gun
And I do believe

Believe I've got high hopes
It takes me back to when we started
High hopes, when you let it go, go out and start again
High hopes, oh, when it all comes to an end
But the world keeps spinning
And the world keeps spinning around

High hopes, it takes me back to when we started
High hopes, when you let it go, go out and start again
High hopes, oh,
And the world keeps spinning
Ooh, yeah this world keeps spinning

How this world keeps spinning around

kenapa dav sama lyricnya?

engga. gue nggak apa-apa. tapi hari ini gue bangun, dan gue sadar. apa salah gue. dari beberapa bulan ini gue baru sadar apa salah gue. gatau gue bego, naif, or just that selfish.

maaf, dulu kalo diminatin suruh nemenin futsal aku nggak mau, nggak punya temen. egois. banget. maaf. 

maaf, kalo aku minta ditemenin kamunya telat aku malah marah-marah. maaf.

maaf, kalo aku nyuruh belajar terus. nggak mikirin apa yang mau kamu lakuin. maaf.

maaf, kalo aku banyak larang ini itu cuma karena aku fikir itu inappropriate dan aku nggak suka. maaf.

banyak. banyak banget. dan ternyata, dari sekian bulan gue udah coba nggak nangis. nahan diri. hari ini gue nggak kuat. banget. parah. 

cuma....bukan berarti gue nyerah. gue sadar gue salah, dan sekarang gue udah bisa nerima kenyataan itu. kenyataan kalo emang gue juga salah. itu kenapa dia pergi.

tapi, gue juga harus banyak minta maaf ke diri gue sendiri.

maaf dav, kalo dulu lo percaya sama apa yang dia omongin. lo naif, percaya kalo cinta itu tanpa kondisi, dan seberat apapun situasi, orang itu bakal tetep ada di samping lo. maaf.

maaf dav, kalo dulu lo terlalu kayak anak kecil, percaya sama yang namanya happily ever after, dan cinta pertama selalu berakhir sampe mati. maaf.

maaf dav, kalo lo terlalu nyaman disamping dia, sampe lo nggak mau dia kenapa-kenapa. karena lo udah lihat banyak contoh, sesuatu yang dilakuin terlalu berlebihan, bakal berakibat buruk.

maaf dav, kalo selama ini lo dirumah, nahan diri buat nggak nanyain dia, karena takut ganggu. dan maaf juga kadang emang nggak kuat jadi mau gak mau, sadar nggak sadar.

maaf dav, kalo lo terlalu yakin dia yang terakhir buat lo. maaf.

maaf dav, kalo lo terlalu kebergantungan sama dia. maaf.

maaf dav, kalo lo nggak suka jadi prioritas kedua, lo maunya jadi yang spesial terus. maaf. rasa egois itu salah gue.

maaf dav, kalo sekarang lo kecewa. maaf.

maaf.

hari ini aja, hari ini. gue mau dirumah aja. mau di kamar. nggak mau kemana-mana. gue mau inget-inget rasa yang gue rasain sekarang, buat terakhir kalinya, gue harap.

gue mau resapin bener-bener rasa yang gue rasain sekarang. rasa masih sayang, kangen, hancur, sedih, marah, kecewa, kesepian, bobrok, luka, bodoh. semuanya. semuanya campur aduk.

ternyata kunci ngelepasin seseorang itu bukan suka sama orang lain. gue udah coba itu. 

ternyata kunci-nya adalah ngakuin kalo lo salah, dan terima kenyataan kalo emang udah nggak ada yang bisa diperbuat, selain ngingetin diri kalo selanjutnya hal yang sama mau terjadi, lo udah bisa prepare. tahan diri. dan jelas nggak ngelakuin kesalahan yang sama untuk kedua kalinya.

i know i'm not worthy of your love. or anyone's love.

but when i love, i love truly.

and when i get a little selfish, that actually means i only want you all by myself. i loved you that much.

i cared about you that much.

i missed you that much.

i adored you that much.

i loved you so much when you loved me so little. dan gue nyesel.

you were a mistake.

a lesson learned.

someone i might be looking forward to see again in the future.

someone i might not want to have anything to do with anymore.

someone i might want to be with and spend the rest of my life travelling with.

someone i might not want to know in the near or distance future.

a friend whom i'd say hi when i walk pass by.

a stranger who i no longer know existed.

i don't know. i guess fate will choose what part you'll play, eh? :-)

bye. my happiness in one folder.

i'm gonna have to erase you now. 

you will be missed.

asdfghjklove,

Davia.

Inaugurasi

so lol ok what's inaugurasi? in indonesian it's peresmian mahasiswa baru. but in english it's that thingy you attend to officially become a college student.
today, was the inaugurasi of binusian 2017. it was held in Jakart Convention Center (JCC). here's how it looked like there.

the place was awesome that me and my friends kept on joking, sayin "peresmian maba lo di aula kampus? gua di jcc. gregedh." 

so it's basically about wearing our binusian almamater and shit and after that there were some performanceeee! one of them is my fella Daniel! he sang two songs. dia & pelangi di bola matamu. preferred his second performance. no actually i loved his second performance. i'll talk a little more about him after ok.

and another performance that caught my heart was from a dancing club in binus. they call themselves stamanara (seni tari bina nusantara) they.were.unreal.

the others were okay hehe

so after the inaugurasi thingy, me and friends decided to take picsssss eventhough we starved during the whole inaugurasi and needed food.

{tisha, moi, ory & nadya}

the guy on my left is Daniel (the one who sang) and the one on my right is Aldi.

me and Daniel kind of had dinner together afterwards. there were people from our college at the same time and place and the kind of stared because Daniel was awesome on stage! he has that super nice voice. hehehehe. so make sure you guys check his youtube channel outttt!!! i guarantee (well...not really) that it'll make you smile. :D his youtube channel is Daniel Jee. so here's some pics i took with daniel at burger king. look at our happy full faces. yayayayaayy.

it's sad that tasya is in japan :( so she couldn't come.

and it's also sad that i didn't get to meet my fav girls from tkh </3 sorta heart breaking. i miss them so much :-(

well. that's probably all. it's getting a little too late.

sleep tight everyone!

asdfghjklove,

Davia.

Welcome Loki! ....I mean Ozil!!

HAAAIIII OMG I'M SO EXCITEDDDDDD. OZIL IS NOW OFFICIALLY A GUNNER!!! ASDFGHJKTRDYHAFJSBNKZXFUKYWJABKSNM<ZXNKSDZX HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH EAT THAT MAN UTD FANS :-) OZIL PREFERS USSSSSS. I AM DONE WITH MULUT MULUT CABE ALL OF YOU YA ;-( YOU GUYS ARE MEEEAAAANNNNN!!! EAT THAT ROBIN VAN KENTUT COY EAT HIM EAT HIM.
kbye sorry.

asdfghjklove,
DAVIA.